Trifold fates and faith.
I’d like to share with you the past few days of my life, and what they have taught me.
Some have been practical lessons:
Always have credit.
Always ask questions
Always, always chain you’re bike up.
Some were more potent lessons, things I’ve learnt about myself and life
Listen to the one’s who love you.
Anger is easier then grief.
Having read that list, I bet you’re wfting like a bitch.
Well, here it is.
On Thursday last, I bought a new bike: a shiny silver beast called Wanda after much dicking around with payment and online deals and such.
By Friday evening, it had been removed from my possession. But that’s the last thing of my trio of woes on that Friday, and I shall return to it (ahh the master of suspence!)
1. An incident at work landed me in some verbal shit regarding payment for some coffee and pasta, which lead to a very spirited disagreement between myself and the manager.
2. A brief and somewhat awkward standoff with my girlfriend about how much we see each other and why. Basically a misunderstanding of wording, but it left a sour taste between us.
3. Bike removed from possession, thinking it had been stolen. They left a note with a phone number, Leeds city council and the names Rob or Lee (come on, ROBBERY am I right?)
The rest of the night passed in a difficult, awkward and generally uncomfortable manner, though me and she had a talk about stuff, and I learnt for the first time that my own anger effects others, and that I need to change myself so I don’t hurt the ones I love the most. A difficult task, but after almost five years, there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for her, (within reason, she’s not having a kidney or anything).
I think that’s the hallmark of a long relationship, wanting to change for the other,. Not in a controlling, wear this tie dump your mates BE WITH ME kind of way.
Anyway, back to it. I call the number on Monday, without much hope, and to my eternal joy, it is actually a council installation that has my bike. I fist pump vigorously for about 5 minutes straight, and then at irregular instances throughout the day. Do you want to know the real mind fucker? I hadn’t actually chained my bike to anything, just unclipped my chain from my bike and re-clipped it without threading it around. I put it down to tiredness and unfamiliarly (I hadn’t rode from some weeks beforehand and my muscle memory is somewhat poor). The street wardens had seen this and taken the bike to their station to keep it safe, and I imagine, to teach me a well deserved lesson. I am currently drafting a thank you/ recommendation letter, just need to figure out who to send it too.
When I came home on Tuesday, triumphant and humbled, my mother had received a letter from the taxman with a bank order for about £1500 in over paid taxes.
My girlfriend had said to me the day before, whilst I was in a fug of anger and bitterness, that my father was watching over me, as departed spirits of loved ones do and that I should have faith in him, perhaps more in death then I did in life. I didn’t believe her (and even went as far as scoffing her internally, I’m genuinely ashamed to admit) but now I’m forced to rethink, if not accept fully, that she may have a point. Part of me wants to believe, another part wants to lay him to rest completely and move on, but I don’t know much about either.
I’m more inclined to believe that life is balance, that good and bad things happen in equal measure, and that the rest is just perception of these twists and turns. Its by no means a definitive belief that I can base my actions on, but its mine nonetheless.
This has been my considerable longer then usual midweek blog, probably to make up for my poor attempt last week.